Help! My Cats Don’t Get Along: Tips for Peaceful Coexistence

“Help! my cats don’t get on” is a frequent call I get from cat owners. It usually follows after another cat is introduced to keep an existing cat company.

But do cats need a friend? The short answer is generally NO! Cats are solitary animals. Unlike the dog, who is a very social animal, they hunt alone and feed alone.

Some cats do get along really well and can have a close bond. However this is generally with cats that they have grown up with or ones introduced at a young age. My general advice therefore is, if your cat is happy living alone with you and has an enriched life – it does not need another cat to keep it company.

What do I do if I already have two cats and they don’t get on?

This is another frequent call that I get. This can be a challenge but here are some top tips to help reduce conflict:

1. Make sure that cats are given enough space to get away from one another. Being forced together is a definite no no. So never restrict cats to make them share the same space.
2. Cats generally don’t like to share! Provide your cats with their own resources. This includes their own litter trays (one each plus one extra), their own separate sleeping quarters, feeding and drinking stations, cat tree and toys etc.  Make sure they have space between these resources too.
3. Pheromone therapy can help. Feliway Optimum is designed to reduce conflict. Other products include Pet Remedy, a herbal scent that can help induce calmness. For a 25% discount you can order direct from the manufacturer, using the affiliate code PETUK25. These are not likely to resolve the situation when used on their own but may help in combination with a tailored behaviour modification plan.
4. Providing outlets for mental activities can help. Interactive feeders work well and provide enrichment too. (See my recommended products below)
5. For cats that really don’t get along – I recommend that you set them up in different rooms altogether. A bit like them having separate flats in the same house! Each cat should have its separate set of resources so that they don’t have to come in to contact with one another. This should help reduce tension until you seek professional help.
6. Time sharing systems for cuddles and play time will be necessary so that no one feels left out.
7. It is vital that you do not use punishment if one shows aggression to the other – this only makes them associate something bad with the presence of the other! They may also begin to associate you with something aversive which can harm your relationship with them.
8. If they do get in to a fight – use a remote distraction. In other words, don’t let them see it coming from you. Rolling a ball with a bell can help break a scuffle. NEVER intervene physically as you may get badly injured in the process! DON’T LET THEM FIGHT IT OUT.
9. After a fight it is better to separate the cats until you can get help from a suitably qualified behaviourist. Repeatedly trying to put them together to “sort it out” rarely works and in almost all cases causes long term problems.
10. Introductions should only be made once both cats are calm. When they are, it is best to introduce them gradually, as if they were meeting for the very first time.
11. There are cases, if fights have been serious or encounters are not working, when scent introductions (using scent cloths) should be carried out first. This should take place before actual visual or face-to-face meetings are made. This has to be carried out in a systematic way. Getting professional help for this would be my recommendation.
12. Once a relationship has broken down, there are never any guarantees that the cats will be closely bonded. However, with the right approach and giving them space, their own resources and a sense of choice and control may result in them tolerating one another without conflict.

Want to learn more?

My book, A Professional’s Guide to Feline Behaviour published by Routledge, is a comprehensive read. it contains all you should need to know about what makes a cat ‘tick’ and why sometimes cats can find it difficult to live together. It also covers some useful information on how to optimise the home in order to meet a cat’s needs, helping to prevent problems from developing. You will also find some strategies to help address problems when they arise.

visit my author page where you will can find out more and take a peek inside the book.

Here’s a selection of our courses which may help you understand more about feline behaviour along with fear, anxiety and aggression: